“Strongly protecting American interests,” and a few more of Donald Trump’s favorite things
If anything bothers US president Donald Trump, he tries to think of nice things. What kind of things? His electoral-college victory map, perhaps, or the satisfying way a piece of tape can tame a wayward red tie. But the president also likes to have his attention span respected. So here’s a little ditty, Mr. President, to help when you’re feeling blue:
Red hats on white guys and swimsuits on models
Tax cuts and trade wars and healthcare boondoggles
Not paying kids I invited to sing
These are a few of my Trumpiest things
A little red button to order a soda
Learning from Bannon like Luke did from Yoda
Airstrikes for dessert with my friend Xi Jinping
These are a few of my Trumpiest things
Tweetstorms at breakfast; steaks at Mar-a-lago
A big bowl of salad that’s also a taco
Driving big trucks and getting Air Force One wings
These are a few of my Trumpiest things
When the Times scoops,
When the Post stings,
When I’m feeling Sad!
I simply remember my Trumpiest things
And then I don’t feel so Bad!