The Onion’s ads, Gwyneth Paltrow’s brand, late-night hotspots, and news from elsewhere

Good morning, delegates!

We’re in the home stretch. This daily email from Quartz is your guide to all the news and chatter from Cannes Lions 2016.

It’s going to be even hotter yesterday, with a high temperature of 30°C (86°F) and not many clouds to stand between you and the sun. Stay hydrated!

Yesterday’s highlights at the festival

Anderson Cooper and Anthony Bourdain yucked it up. The CNN stars held court in the Lumiere Theatre, discussing their careers, process, and Bourdain’s recent meal with Barack Obama in a noodle shop in Hanoi. “The Secret Service were very nervous,” he said. “They were not happy with the venue, let me put it that way.” Both men shared interview tips—eye contact, for Cooper, and alcohol, for Bourdain. And toward the end of their session, Cooper brought up Bourdain’s famous edict that you shouldn’t order fish at restaurants on Mondays, but the former chef disavowed that advice, saying it’s no longer true: ”‘Don’t eat fish on Monday’ will unfortunately be on my headstone.”

The Onion says sponsor content works. And it isn’t joking. But the satire publication’s chief, Mike McAvoy, warned that it requires a deft touch and dose of humility. Refreshingly candid, he shared examples of The Onion’s sponsor content that fell short of those standards—for instance, “Man Buys The Living Daylights Out Of Patio Furniture At Home Depot’s Spring Black Friday.” It was too forced, he said. A more successful piece was one for White Castle headlined, “Man Craving Some Kind Of Human Connection That Would Let Him Know He’s Not Alone In This World, Sliders.” Smart readers, McAvoy said, “do not like blatant endorsements….If you try to shove a message down someone’s throat, they won’t read it, they won’t share, and you won’t achieve your results.”

“I’m here to ask questions and sometimes piss people off,” Gwyneth Paltrow said of her role as curator of Goop, her popular lifestyle email and website (which is also soon coming to Snapchat). Asked about her sometimes wildly expensive product recommendations, Paltrow said they are done knowingly. “We’ll link to a $15,000 gold dildo just to troll people. It’s fun. We look for products that will create that kind of reaction.”

Even more Lions. J. Walter Thompson won the Grand Prix in both Cyber and Creative Data for digitally drawing a new Rembrandt painting on behalf of ING. Leo Burnett also won in Cyber category for its Spanish Christmas lottery ad. Y&R won Media for Burger King’s ”McWhopper” campaign, which also nabbed the Grand Prix in Print & Publishing just the other day. The New York Times won the Grand Prix in mobile for its virtual reality app that integrated Google, Mini, and GE. Speaking of Google, it won the Innovation category for an AI that defeated the world’s best Go player.

What everyone is talking about

Thrillist and VaynerMedia. A company hired to promote their party last night sent an email soliciting “attractive females and models” to attend the event, where Wyclef Jean performed. “If you are interested in attending, please send us recent untouched photos and or your Instagram/Facebook links for you and each of your additional female guests,” read the email, which was tweeted by Cindy Gallop. “Once we have reviewed we will send you specific entry details.” Both Thrillist and VaynerMedia blamed the promoter, iGetIn, and apologized for the offensive email. Cannes Lions, in a tweet, said it agreed with Gallop’s criticism of the email and noted that the party wasn’t an official conference event.

Geolocating after hours. With so much ad tech concentrated in one spot, it should come as no surprise that you are being tracked while roaming around here. xAd is gathering locations from users of the official Cannes Lions app, as well as its own, allowing us to do nightlife reporting the way it was always meant to be done—with Big Data. When the official sessions are over each day, the most popular destination for delegates is, of course, the Hotel Carlton. But to get a better sense of the scene in Cannes late into the night, we asked xAd to provide data on where delegates were hanging out between 2am and 6am on Wednesday morning. We’re bleary-eyed just thinking about it. Here are the results:

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News from around the world

The Brexit vote is finally here. The United Kingdom will decide whether to leave the European Union in a contentious and divisive referendum. The “leave” camp edged ahead in two recent polls.

Twilio’s IPO beat expectations. The offering priced at $15 a share, above Twilio’s indicated $12-$14 range, raising $150 million. At that price the startup has a $1.2 billion market cap—a good sign for other “unicorns” (private companies valued at over $1 billion). Twilio sends text messages on behalf of other services.

Kim Jong-un claimed North Korean missiles can hit US targets in the Pacific. Yesterday his military conducted an apparently successful test of its Musudan missile. Theoretically, the medium-range Musudan could reach Japan and Guam, where the US has strategically important bases.

US Democrats staged a Congressional sit-in over gun control. About 30 lawmakers said they won’t budge until Republicans agree to vote on a gun control measure introduced after the Orlando massacre. Meanwhile, another mass shooting killed three Americans.

Matters of debate

Removing the headphone jack from phones is hostile to users. No one wants this, Apple.

The tech economy raises wages for everyone—except the truly poor. Extreme wealth doesn’t trickle down.

There’s a better way to watch TV. Play back the video at twice the normal speed.

Surprising discoveries

Living in a city makes birds age faster. The stress of urban life outweighs the benefits.

The Philippines held an apocalyptic earthquake drill. Children and government workers played dead to develop a “culture of preparedness.”

The US government is preparing a crackdown on frequent flyer programs. They’ve become too complicated for human understanding.

Our best wishes for an inspiring day at the festival. Please send any news, tips, creative extensions of the Goop brand, and offensive party invitations to me, Zach Seward, at [email protected].

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